A couple months or so ago there was a story about this guy who would just dress up nice and sit in public hoping that a girl would notice him and talk to him. He didn't do anything except just sit there and maybe look at them a bit. He did this many times, but of course to no avail. After a while, he became angry. He saw these other men with their girlfriends and wondered why none of the women were talking to him? He was dressed up more nicely than them! But these men so easily had girlfriends! Sadly, this story ended with him killing women and men out of anger.
Why did the women never talk to him? Well of course, because he never actually tried to talk to them himself. Conversation is a two-way process, and if you are the seeker of conversation then you must put the effort in first.
This story, to be honest, is reminded to me by this whole "shy person" shebang. [DRAMATACIZED] "Why aren't people talking to me? I'm here in public! How dare these people talk to their friends they already know and love when I'm here all alone! They shouldn't expect me to go to talk to them, they should come and talk to me! I'm the new player! I hate cliques!"
So no, I'm not saying "screw shy people". I'm saying that learning to initiate conversation is part of learning to socialize and become, well, grown up. I'm sure it'd all be easier if we could all be shy people, sitting in corners and just make others come to us. But the world can't always work that way. You can't expect other people to put their current friends on pause to talk to you if you're not showing that you're willing to put just as much effort into them.
Talking to people can be hard, yeah. But if making bonds that last for life were super easy, would they really be so worth it?
That would be a good analogy, if the man who's supposed to stand in for shy people wasn't a psychopath. Even if you say dramatization, it's a pretty far reach there, since most shy people don't end up like that, and don't have his mind set.
Maybe the person has social anxiety ay? "Just fight it off and talk with people" is kind of rude, and doesn't really work. Anxiety is not fun, and is something I struggle with. I don't tell other people who struggle with social anxiety to "start talking to people already, get over it and learn to initiate a conversation." I love talking with people, but I always struggle (Well, mostly in person) with starting conversations even with people I know. It doesn't mean I don't care to put effort into my relationship with said person, I just have really bad anxiety. Am I saying people with social anxiety should stop fighting it? Or just shy people in general to stay shy? No. But we should try and help them. Be nice, talk with them, be inviting. Can't be so assumptious about what people actually have on their mind.
That would be a good analogy, if the man who's supposed to stand in for shy people wasn't a psychopath. Even if you say dramatization, it's a pretty far reach there, since most shy people don't end up like that, and don't have his mind set.
Maybe the person has social anxiety ay? "Just fight it off and talk with people" is kind of rude, and doesn't really work. Anxiety is not fun, and is something I struggle with. I don't tell other people who struggle with social anxiety to "start talking to people already, get over it and learn to initiate a conversation." I love talking with people, but I always struggle (Well, mostly in person) with starting conversations even with people I know. It doesn't mean I don't care to put effort into my relationship with said person, I just have really bad anxiety. Am I saying people with social anxiety should stop fighting it? Or just shy people in general to stay shy? No. But we should try and help them. Be nice, talk with them, be inviting. Can't be so assumptious about what people actually have on their mind.
He was never diagnosed with anything. I'm really tired of people excusing actions with "oh they were just mentally ill! A normal person would never do that!" (one because it's pretty mentalist and two because it detracts from the fact that the actions were wrong). As far as the world knows, he had no mental illness problems.
Second, I never said that any shy people would end up like that. I just said that this situation here reminded me of the the Rodgers situation. However, that train of thought of "These people aren't talking to me therefore I am upset that they are not talking to me" seems very similar to the situations here.
And yes, I realize that anxiety is a problem. I know several people that have been affected by it, including myself as well. However, social anxiety is a problem that won't be helped by sitting in the corner and eventually hoping people come talk to you. People I know that have social anxiety have done multiple things, from talking to therapists, to counselors, to parents, to their friends to help overcome their problems. These all seem like much better people to rely on than complete strangers to helping cope with social anxiety. Many of the people on this thread complaining also are not alone in the Blocktopia community. Many of them already have a few friends. If they have social anxiety, then I'd advise they ask their friends to help assist them in socializing and reaching out.
I never meant to say that people shouldn't be inviting or talk to new people.
However, the intent of this thread seems towards being upset at those who don't immediately reach out to new players, that it is their fault that new players haven't talked to them.
Instead, I believe it should be the choice of the player if they wish to reach out and not to be angry towards or upset at them if they choose to instead talk to their friends rather than interrupt their activity that they came onto the server for. The player's intent upon joining is to have fun. Whether or not that includes talking to the new kid on the block is their prerogative.
I think the biggest problem is that people are looking from a personal perspective and not thinking about the bigger picture. Everyone is just thinking: "I DONT WANT TO BE FORCED TO TALK TO NEW PEOPLE ALL THE TIME" missing the main point. The community is getting less and less attractive to newer and older players and I think that can be fixed as long as people realise that and do not steer the thread in the wrong direction because they want to be 'funny' or need to show a 'good analogy' or something.
I've been on vacation since Friday. On my way home currently. I'll try address the points earlier (and your tag Jayfeather) when I'm back. Though my response will mirror supers response as I felt he raised great points. Good discussion though. Don't stop/hesitate to reply on my account, nice to see all opinions on the subject at hand.
that was over a year ago, back when I was stupid and 15.. but yeah, I can attest to that unfortunately. I guess it's cool that we can just point out people's mistakes now, not because your backing any kind of reasoning, just to make others look bad, right? This is the kind of elitist and narcissistic behavior I'm trying to abolish, but if everyone is just going to circlejerk this thread into something it's not, I'd like it to be locked.
No, I think pace has a point. People are not willing to welcome you with open arms after their first impression of you is bad. People can change and such and is it fair that they don't give you a second chance? Of course not.. but sometimes people are just not willing to take the chance that maybe they believe you haven't.
I wouldn't have taken his post so far, but by looking at their standpoint I can understand why people will look at past behavior. They've seen you once and it was a bad impression so that impression stuck with them.
kinda like when anyone walks into a classroom and decides they are going to disturb the class/yell/irritating other students
I think the biggest problem is that people are looking from a personal perspective and not thinking about the bigger picture. Everyone is just thinking: "I DONT WANT TO BE FORCED TO TALK TO NEW PEOPLE ALL THE TIME" missing the main point. The community is getting less and less attractive to newer and older players and I think that can be fixed as long as people realise that and do not steer the thread in the wrong direction because they want to be 'funny' or need to show a 'good analogy' or something.
I think we've had multiple discussions about how boring it is for new players and how are player base is lacking a lot. People seem to be ignoring it tbh+ I don't feel much is being done or they way they are doing it really isn't working.
I think it's easy to forget from my position and possibly some others who have been around here for a while that forming friends within a community isn't half as easy as we'd like it to be. Making friends takes time and it takes two to tango. It's not like being a child and going to someone in the ball pit "Do you want to be friends?"
I'm guilty of not letting people in a channel who I'm not too familiar with on Teamspeak but then I think to myself, should I feel like that? It's been raised that you don't go over to a group in public and sit beside them and get instantly included. I think Teamspeak is a very closed off place where people are more comfortable being with friends (possibly for lack of a better reason that its literally a more vocal place) and I think until you've put that step forward you cannot claim to feel isolated. Use the servers to gain a better span of individuals to talk to and build up those friendships.
I like the majority of people within here and although op states they aren't coming back I'd like to feel that you can find friends here if you are prepared to realize that it's not just going to happen and that it takes time. Put in the effort and you'll reap the benefits.
I'd like to continue to find you guys awesome so please pretty please can we not get into each others faces.
Regarding Progress: We know its ground to a halt, As Superstein stated we’ve addressed the reasons why – in the short term due to Bukkits imminent demise and our inability to update, in the long-term we’ve stated that we are going to aggressively start to tackle apathy among higher ranks and try deliver more a constant progress. This is something the entire head staff team is heavily invested in being a part of. We hope to have a few updates for you in the coming week or two, depending which week the new head staff meetings are organized.
Regarding Cliques: To mirror Superstein’s comment, I don’t think this is anything we have direct control over – nor would people prefer us to have direct control over this. But on top of that I’m not necessarily convinced that this is a new development, or anything unexpected – to my knowledge Cliques have existed since Day 1 and, many of those continue to this day.
I don’t personally believe that Cliques are Blocktopia specific – especially given the fact that teenagers make up our core demographic (You would be hard pressed to find a teenager who is not part of a clique at school) and I strive to think of a time when I’ve ever joined a game server and been automatically welcomed/assisted without making a large effort to participate & befriend people – If you don’t’ share someone else’s interest, It goes without saying that some level of effort is going to be needed to befriend them, I highly doubt someone is going to explicitly ignore your attempts to talk to them if you’re engaging them in some level of meaningful/entertaining conversation.
Jayfeather :Regarding that quote – Though I’d prefer if we took this to pm/teamspeak given that it’s on an entirely different tangent of discussion to this thread, I think I can agree that what I said was slightly erroneous, not entirely but it has its faults. I’d be happy to discuss it via pm with you/or anyone else interested in discussing it.
I have to say, I don't think this is massive issue, or at least one that effects many people as dramatically as it is sometimes made out. Personally, I always considered myself a relatively social person within BT, despite the fact I was, lets say, less than approachable during my first few visits. I can understand how maybe for less vocal people it can be more difficult to communicate with the older players, but I think as long as you're persistent, yet not irritating, it's an easily achievable goal.
In terms of TS, however, I can understand someone refusing to let a newer player into a private room. I used to be fairly shy towards pretty much everyone in the community when it came to actually using a microphone, as many people will back me up on, and I certainly had to build up a certain amount of trust before I actually 'spoke' with someone I had never met in real life on the server. Sometimes existing cliques feel more secure just speaking with people they're already comfortable with, and that's ok.
I hate to say it but it is just luck of the draw if you end up fitting in within any community. Usually, there IS a place for you. Whether you persist in finding that place is your decision and yours alone and if you're up for it then you should find yourself making friends in no time. Luckily for me the role of 'Sarcastic British Kid Who Plays Guitar' was vacant.
In regards to my earlier post that sorta gained a lot of controversy in the likes/dislikes:
Did any of you ever stop to think about how closely communication online and communication offline mirror each other? If you have a fear of talking to people, or perhaps a more serious condition like anxiety, it is hard to talk to people, join a clique, or start/contribute to conversation. It is exactly the same online as well, but with more barriers to protect yourself. What some of you ask for is special treatment based on this: "we need to be more pro-active in leading new players to our daily conversation" is really code for "I am afraid to talk to anyone and I want them to acknowledge me first"
Because I realize this and the other post are worded somewhat aggressively, rather than comb through it to fix tone I'd like to just say down in these four lines that I don't intend for my more recent posts to come across that way. These are my observations from my extensive experience in both my own fear of socializing and my large amount of years spent on Teamspeak.
For me, talking to people is fairly straight forward (unless it is over the phone where I can't see anything to even represent them.)
However, I still feel left out sometimes (not all the time, but still too often).
In this case, it's where I try to communicate with a group or clique, but the following happens:
*The clique gets hostile towards me because [Insert some bull-chow excuse here].
*The clique and I simply don't understand each other (even when we both speak "English").
*What ever the clique is doing or likes to do contradicts my ethics.
Then what? Well, I typically just try to find people who don't have any of the above happen.
What if that can't happen? Then society has a major social problem.
For me, talking to people is fairly straight forward (unless it is over the phone where I can't see anything to even represent them.)
However, I still feel left out sometimes (not all the time, but still too often).
In this case, it's where I try to communicate with a group or clique, but the following happens:
*The clique gets hostile towards me because [Insert some bull-chow excuse here].
*The clique and I simply don't understand each other (even when we both speak "English").
*What ever the clique is doing or likes to do contradicts my ethics.
Then what? Well, I typically just try to find people who don't have any of the above happen.
What if that can't happen? Then society has a major social problem.
Could you explain it in a different way, because I don't understand.
So you feel left out because when you interact with a new clique they are instantly aggressive, don't mix well, and attack your morals. When you try to find new cliques it happens in an infinite loop?
There is a place out there for everyone, don't believe any different, but make sure you are not the problem first.
There has been a great amount of successful discussion within this thread, and so I'd like to thank all those who have contributed for all of your input. Regardless of the rank hierarchy system we have in place, Blocktopia remains a community-led project, which makes the thoughts and work of all of you very important to us. In the last few pages of discussion there has been quite a bit of negativity as to the relevance and consequent usefulness of discussion in this thread but, while some responses have lost focus on the discussion at hand, the on topic content and opinion posted by other users is not nullified by this. By all accounts, threads such as these are very healthy for Blocktopia as a community.
As I say, great points have been raised by both members and staff colleagues, so I try to keep this short and avoid wasting time in repeating huge chunks information or retorting to opinion (though I may brush over previously raised points to reinforce them as my shared opinion). It seems that the presence of cliques isn't really what has been up for debate here, rather their place in what many think should be a completely open Minecraft/general gaming community.
Essentially all we can say as Administrators of said community is that we cannot force or ban close friendships/friendship groups. We are a small community, people get used to each other and find people they get along with and as such groups are going to form and become increasingly tight-knit. Recently I have only seen evidence of warm and open reception to newcomers from what may be considered cliques in TeamSpeak. Naturally though there's a bit of give and take in this interaction though. It might not be easy for some, but there's no rent-a-friend system, so it will take some work to find people with shared interests.
As mentioned previously, though I'll plug it again, the recent lack of content/progression in the community has been addressed in part here, and I do strongly recommend you all give it a proper read through. The takedown of Bukkit leads us rather stuck in terms of progress, and is especially limiting in developing future long-term projects. While progress within Blocktopia may at times appear stagnant, please do be reassured that the cogs are always turning, though admittedly they do turn slower at times. Minecraft has gone through more shifts and changes than I dare count, and Blocktopia has been right there with it for most of them. We are still here, and we are still going - and I can promise you that the community will not be disappearing anytime soon. Change is inevitable, and is constantly affecting both us the staff and you the members and your experience with us. Mods, monetisation, mechanic changes, legal movements, and even player-base age-range keeps us as an administrative team on our toes at all times.
If you want an answer as to where we will we move next, I can't answer that...because I don't know. But I do however have complete confidence that we will be able to move forward past these challenges that these changes pose, and hold strong hope that we will have the community alongside us on the other side of it all. For now all I can suggest, and all I can ask, is that you, the community, work with us and communicate with us your concerns. It isn't easy, and there is a lot to do, but ultimately we're here to do what we can to help you have fun and enjoy the services that this community has to offer.
Yeah I'm going to throw my useless opinion on here without reading all the comments prior to this because everyone is making good points and maybe this point has been made but WHATEVER.
People can't really help belonging to what might be considered a clique. Honestly I think people will just talk to people that they can relate with, I mean, isn't that how it is offline too? People gravitate towards people that are similar to them in whatever tastes they might have, whether it be their humor or just how they talk in general.
I haven't been on the servers for a month just because I don't have MineCraft anymore, but when I did play I tended to talk more to the people I thought were approachable and I enjoyed their company. I would just say stuff that was subject to an open-ended conversation for anyone to join in, but for the most part I talk to the people who talked to me.
As far as the origins of these cliques, they began a long time ago. Most of them exist because people used to play on the classic servers and knew each other, and got so used to talking to one another that whenever they come on it's just like seeing a server full of familiar faces.
Nobody tries to alienate players, as far as I know. Whenever somebody new comes on, they're greeted and asked if they need help, usually. But in the case that this doesn't happen, I don't think it's anyone's deliberate intent to try and make the person feel like they've been out casted just because they're new. But also, if the new player doesn't make it evident that they want to chat about stuff or make any attempt to start a conversation whatsoever, it's not our responsibility to prompt them to discuss stuff.
Honestly I think this server has just been around for so long that we keep regenerating the player base, some people stay, some people go, the same issues resurface and then boil down, and it all starts over again.
but yeah I wrote this and I need sleep and food and today was shitty and I'm exhausted feel free to just completely obliterate whatever the hell I just said
He was never diagnosed with anything. I'm really tired of people excusing actions with "oh they were just mentally ill! A normal person would never do that!" (one because it's pretty mentalist and two because it detracts from the fact that the actions were wrong). As far as the world knows, he had no mental illness problems.
Second, I never said that any shy people would end up like that. I just said that this situation here reminded me of the the Rodgers situation. However, that train of thought of "These people aren't talking to me therefore I am upset that they are not talking to me" seems very similar to the situations here.
And yes, I realize that anxiety is a problem. I know several people that have been affected by it, including myself as well. However, social anxiety is a problem that won't be helped by sitting in the corner and eventually hoping people come talk to you. People I know that have social anxiety have done multiple things, from talking to therapists, to counselors, to parents, to their friends to help overcome their problems. These all seem like much better people to rely on than complete strangers to helping cope with social anxiety. Many of the people on this thread complaining also are not alone in the Blocktopia community. Many of them already have a few friends. If they have social anxiety, then I'd advise they ask their friends to help assist them in socializing and reaching out.
I never meant to say that people shouldn't be inviting or talk to new people.
However, the intent of this thread seems towards being upset at those who don't immediately reach out to new players, that it is their fault that new players haven't talked to them.
Instead, I believe it should be the choice of the player if they wish to reach out and not to be angry towards or upset at them if they choose to instead talk to their friends rather than interrupt their activity that they came onto the server for. The player's intent upon joining is to have fun. Whether or not that includes talking to the new kid on the block is their prerogative.
I'm pretty sure with the Rodgers situation, it was either mental, or horrible parents, which could result in the mental issues and other stuff, that lead to that. He had zero moral compass, which is something most people normal have, even if it's off sometimes. Anyways, back on topic:
Sometimes, people who are actually dealing with the anxiety with a therapist or what not, still don't always go out of there way talking at every opportunity. Sometimes it takes people (staff and players alike) to start the conversation that makes them feel welcome, and gets them talking. Even if I didn't have social anxiety (that doesn't very much affect me online anywho), I wouldn't want to start talking with a bunch of people who didn't even acknowledge my existence, let alone keep making meme jokes. It's not meant to be some "I want attention, they should talk to me!!!" thing. I just expect people to be nice to whoever comes on, and me to do the same to people who join as well, not all just for me.
Also, is saying "Welcome [name]!" really that interrupting? Or "Hey [name]"? If you have no time to do even that, you have larger issues at hand.
I don't tell other people who struggle with social anxiety to "start talking to people already, get over it and learn to initiate a conversation." I love talking with people, but I always struggle (Well, mostly in person) with starting conversations even with people I know. It doesn't mean I don't care to put effort into my relationship with said person, I just have really bad anxiety.
Wasn't gonna make a post but Malc's post for some reason made me want to do this so...
I completely agree and go through the same things. I always have trouble starting a conversation, it's as if my mind is literately going a million miles an hour and I find myself dumbfounded. However if I am around you often and I become more comfortable around you it is easier for me to speak about different things and actually starting a conversation.
There was a point and time in my peak time here and in MC that I would spend 12 hours on the zombie server at times. I was very outgoing, I had no trouble speaking to people and most importantly speaking my mind. But people here that still know me probably saw me on Teamspeak a few times but I never said anything or got a mic. Why? Because about the things that people have said here previously, all I can say is it's easier said then done. To me it's just different to type on a computer rather then actually physically speaking to someone. The problem probably comes from a fear of being judged by others or afraid to make a situation awkward even though if you get to know me I am basically a normal human being...
With that said, in response to the OP,, I made a message back in April 8th, 2013 to all zombie staff members including trusted ones about a issue I had seen from new players and the ways we all behaved towards them. I am sure I pushed some buttons with this but it's how I truly felt. (Dont remember if I was still staff) The messaged stated and I quote...
"Now this message is sent to every staff member in the zombie server. I had a interesting talk on it so here it is. I am not going to single out any person on this because I believe most of us including me are at fault for this.
Now this topic is about how we are treating new players coming to the zombie server and how we are not welcoming them to the server. We have seemed to of gone into groups and ignored a lot of the new players in the server. We pm each other, we speak through TS and whatever other chat is being used privately while we don't chat in public chat in the server itself. This was explained to me greatly by someone saying "It's like going to a new school and the first day you go to lunch and you are eating by yourself. We have the appearance of being all happy and social but we treat it like an exclusive club."
The reason I sent it to you is because I have faith that you will take a moment to read it from start to end and think about it closely. When I first came to this server I met Cliffy and he was very kind to me being a new person and look now, i've been here for over 2 years.
Thanks for reading this chat and hope to hear your opinions on this and what is going on."
Now I know lots of things have changed, not many of the people that I sent this too still play these servers actively including me. I just felt that this kinda had the same similarity and this happened over a year and a half ago.
I don't think I will be leaving blocktopia any time soon.I find it very fun and others may too.
1.
If I am getting this right you said that people stay with the same group of friends,We'll I'm guessing it is all about trust issues to be honest.When a new player logs on they will probably cause a flood which means that most higher ranks and/or people who have been playing the server for a long time will sort of learn .Also that the person probably feels that those people can be trusted and that they can laugh with them.It may just be they are new and don't want to branch out just yet because these people have taught them how to play the server so they must know a lot more.
Sorry if I got this COMPLETELY wrong
-Jenben101
Regarding cliques, even if they where Satan's way of ruining peoples lives, what can anyone do about them? Since when did anyone have the right to waltz into someone else's friendship and hang out with them like you've known each other since you where born? You don't. Time for a story.
Once upon a time, I moved to a new town. I'm home schooled, and mom joined a co-op group. Nothing wrong there right? Right. My problem? Everyone was in a clique. I could have fit in, but I didn't. Back then, everyone was talking about Star wars. I had no idea what Star Wars was, so I watched it. By the time I know what Star Wars was, they where talking about Lord of the Rings, ect ect ect. I wasn't in to guns and stuff like other guys where, so I ended up talking with girls a lot more. For a few years, my only friends where girls, and not a lot either. I just went my own way. Other people joined the group, and I talked to them, became buddies. The only way to make friends, is to talk to other people. That's the key. You can't just jump on in someone else's clique, you have to make your own usually. Why fit in if you're meant to stand out? The point? There is so much you can do with your life, don't waste it trying to fit in with the "cool people". Make friends with people you identify with. Maybe you can't talk with these cliques because you don't identify with them. Go find someone you like being around, someone who has common, or maybe even opposite interests! It's all up to you.
That about sums up most of my life right there. I'm not going into the details of how I met my best friend, that'd take way too long to write down.
Cliques are uncontrollable, however I would recommend not being rude. Please do not kick anyone out of a clique, or deny access (If you're in a private room.)
The reason for lack of progress has been said before. To repeat again: This is because of the little bukkit meltdown. Apparently Bukkit 1.8 is somewhat fucked, as the developers quit.
To recap in an even shorter way of saying it:
Don't be a dick and bukkit is fucked.
Woahhhh reading this essay of a thread made me exhausted. Not quite sure why I'm posting here since I haven't played properly on BT for like a year and my view is probably outdated but NEVERTHELESS.
...
Anyways. I sort of understand the clique-y behaviour, and I highly doubt that anyone is actually denying that cliques exist. But the thing is, it's impossible to prevent cliques from occurring. They happen in school, in the workplace (sometimes), and Blocktopia isn't any different. A group of people who have similar viewpoints and personalities naturally gravitate towards each other. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, and up until now I always thought that a clique was just a group of close friends, until I researched (k, I Googled it), and I found conflicting answers. Some results call it a "group of friends who interact more intensely in a social setting than with others" while other results said "a group of exclusive friends". I don't necessarily think it's wrong to have a group of good friends, but it is wrong when you start excluding others based on their time on the server or just plain "I don't like you".
That being said, you can't just expect to join a game instantly and be treated as a best friend from the word go.
You should, however, expect to be treated with respect and kindness, and not settle for anything less.
I'm going to abandon the word "clique" for this rant. I've been skimming and it looks like the issue at hand has been talked about to death, but I think I can contribute anyway...
As DarkHender said, first impressions are very influential in how people treat each other in the servers...
There is a degree of mob-mentality when it comes to some circles... Certain groups have had a history of being aggressive and hostile to those outside of their circles. When this happens, their victims might develop a grudge, and they'll go to their groups to vent about it. In support of their friends, we now have a group of friends holding a grudge against another group of friends, and with a spark of drama both groups now hate each other and will go out of their way to antagonize the other.
I was recently shown logs of a Teamspeak conversation that started out where Person A was telling Person B that Person B wasn't being fair "hogging" a private room, then accused Person B of being part of a clique. Person B told the rest of Group B and Group B wasn't happy. Group B was trying to find reasons why they shouldn't be considered a clique, while bashing Group A and accusing them of being a clique instead... Then Group A found out...
I understand the stance Kordra is coming from, new players who join the server who don't have circles of friends to run or vent to might take such antagonism (call it what you want, but its all a form of this) personally, and might be too intimidated or discouraged to come back.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Solution?
Discussing it as a community is great and all, but honestly, I think the only way to end this hostility is to acknowledge it exists and confront the people you are having these issues with directly. Be open-minded, and talk to them with the respect you would like them to have for you. It sounds hard, but it really isn't, the worst that could happen is that you'll both agree to disagree.
Passive aggression won't get you or anyone else anywhere, and that's all I can see in these threads... Its rather silly actually, all it does is provoke the other side.
Groups of friends are, if anything, healthy for the community and future server content should facilitate the development of teamwork, friendly competition, and (as some of you would say) "cliques". The issues above are less likely to arise again if more people knew each other and were in some way or another forced to interact in a way that forms new groups...
The Adventure server, or whatever its called, is sorta like that but it doesn't have the appeal of an open world server like our SMP's...
Although I didn't enjoy it, I think we should have something like Primordia again. There were factions that owned large portions of the world that encouraged people to join them and get to know the people within it. Add regular events that throw factions against each other in a competition encourages teamwork where even new players can easily get involved and make friends... Regular - maybe even (bi-)monthly - resets would ensure diversity among groups and prevent people from taking it too seriously. Just omit elected leaders and allow them to rise naturally.
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I felt like making some pictures.
This is what Blocktopia kind of is like right now:
The colors represent the "cliques". That is, yes, there are some close groups of friends. However, none of the groups of friends are totally isolated from the rest of the community. The whole community still is connected with each other, despite some members being much closer than others. This is a natural thing: every community has it: schools, workplaces, social centers, churches, basically any place with people! And despite having a close friendship with a clique, members still are friends with those outside their clique. As well, there are those that are not in a clique, but still can enjoy having friends! They can, with effort and time, make close friends still even if they are not in a clique.
This is what some people think will happen if we start trying to abolish "cliques":
While it would be lovely to have everyone be friends with everyone, it's not going to happen. There are too many people and people can't put enough effort into everyone to maintain a healthy relationship. (P.S. This diagram was a pain in the ass to make: another reason why cliques aren't bad)
Instead, this is what would happen if we started interfering with the personal relationships of players:
Also known as: Pissload of Drama
People would get pissed, friendships would be lost, etc. People won't respond well to people saying that they shouldn't be hanging out with their friends as much. Similarly, they won't respond well to being forced to hang out with people they don't know or don't want to know.
In Summary: "Cliques", or friend-groups, are a natural thing that promote healthy relationships and also help keep the community bonded. While the ability to completely abandon them and just be friends with everyone would be lovely, we are not (yet) robots and have our emotional, mental, and physical limits. And even robots have some limits.
