I have a potato that was conceived on the same day as me.
You can count the festering patches of lethal bacteria among the deadly coat of viruses attempting to pass as potato skin. It has on patch of lethal bacteria for each year.
Although my kitten mistook it for cyanide yesterday and ate it.
So now I can't tell.
Well, actually you have been being tracked for years, our agency has a tab on you at all times, where your where born, what your favorite food is, what gum you chew, who you had a crush on in the first grade, how long your thumb is, what you ate last night.
So, your story checks out, you may now represent August 25th.