My First Tofu

Trap_Wolf

dam u str8 babygurl
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This is pretty much a petty detailed article of a young man's first encounter with the popular meat substitute: Tofu. Tofu is this crazy shit made from my people ((asian)) and coagulated soy milk. Coagulated means to change a solid to a semisolid state. Go impress your under paid English teacher. Tofu is really high in all the nutrients and vitamins and proteins that are near equivalent to harvested animal flesh meat. It's consumed by a lot of vegetarians and vegans who don't want to look like they suffer.

I personally heard a lot about the craze of tofu so finally packed my nuts well up and decided to purchase, not one, two packages of tofu. Having absolutely no experience with tofu whatsoever.

Teenage Tarzan and Jane Porter don't give a shit what you do to them. What' they're packing is healthy as hell.
Also, if we're eating tofu to help our environment why is it packaged in plastic.
Thanks capitalism Obama man.
What my twitter would have looked like if I had a twitter
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8:04 PM - Optimistic​
8:06 PM - Open fridge. Camera does an avalanche downward and I caress it in my arms precariously. Find new spot to put camera.​
8:09 PM - Open first tofu for first time.​
8:09 PM - WATER EVERWHERE.​
8:10 PM - It looks like cheese. I don't like cheese.​
8:14 PM - Store tofu irresponsibly in a plastic container even though most sites suggest glass.​
8:14 PM - Cover in water. It crumbles. Mfw.​
8:15 PM - Yfw when there's no mfw.​
8:16 PM - Cut onion and carrots to add and make more lifelike.​
8:20 PM - It doesn't work.​
8:21 PM - Look up help on the internet because it's dependable because it's the internet.​
8:21 PM - Ohhh. Cut in chunks.​
Okay.
8:23 PM - At this point Avril Lavigne is telling me what the hell.​
8:25 PM - Pepper. Salt. Basil. Garlic. Stirfry sauce. Turn on water to boil.​
8:26 PM - What the fuck am I making.​
8:27 PM - Conflicted between adding oil or not. Internet says not.​
8:29 PM - Found a source that says it's OK. Doing it.​
8:30 PM - Professional stir frying.​
8:30 PM - Oh shit. How long do I cook it?​
8:30 PM - Does it brown?​
8:31 PM - Avril's album cover depicts my internal struggle.​
SO. MUCH. PAIN.
8:34 PM - Should I make rice?​
8:35 PM - It's too late.​
8:40 PM - Linguine noodles take too long. :C​
8:43 PM - Try to take a picture of me giving my cat the finger.​
8:44 PM - It doesn't work.​
8:44 PM - ACTUALLY want to give my cat the finger.​
8:45 PM - Drain noodles and add to stirfry.​
8:46 PM - Cultural perfection.​
8:46 PM - Take first taste test. Concerned taste test.​
8:47 PM - It's okay. Not good but not bad.​
8:49 PM - Arrange plate for classy photoshoot.​
8:52 PM - Let's enjoy a fucking meal.​
Instagram.
Tofu Confessional
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It's okay. Could I say I would add it to part of my diet? Yes, because I've just tried it and I feel a little bit curious of the vegetarian/vegan diet/lifestyle and possibly losing a little weight. Please note, I am still using my motives and choice to continue to eat healthy and intake the proper amount of nutrients that a human body needs. There's still quite an amount of vegetarian/vegan stigma I would like to tackle, and what better way than to continue to try to see what it's like for myself?
Tofu, while I researched about it, like a moron while cooking it((before being sensible and researching prior to purchase)), is like a big absorber. Literally has no taste by itself but will soak up any spices you put on it. So literally you could make cucumber tofu, chocolate tofu, mother fucking strawberry tofu, or even blood tofu.​
I think it defeats the purpose of tofu for vegetarians/vegans.
Also note: chalklookingish.
More meticulous reasons I will keep attempting to convert tofu into my diet is pricing. A pound of tofu cost me 2.18 ((average tofu a lb costs 3.00)) while a pound of meat for the average citizen of the United States costs keeps rising. I don't why there isn't any liable reason for you to take initiative and possibly try a tofu conversion. Not that I'm demanding or telling you what to do with your life. Go do whatever the fuck you want. As long as you have the consent of other people to do whatever shenanigans you want to do.

This is not consent.

All in all, let's get to the big question: how does it taste?
Well as stated before: it absorbs whatever the hell you give it. Texture is what I'm guessing you want to know and it is like a squishy baby head. Not a meat substitute in the sense of what you want to be physically eating.

Yet it's something to try for yourself. Best of luck and dam u str8 babygurl.
 
D

DarkHender

Guest
... What the hell did I just read.
Tofu looks nasty :\
And the texture sounds nasty.
Tofu is just nasty in everything D:
 
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