My fanfic (not like others)

Discussion in 'Creative Corner' started by sebastian "forsen" fors, Jan 6, 2019.

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What do you think of this FanFic?

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  1. sebastian "forsen" fors

    sebastian "forsen" fors Member

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    Hello, this is the beggining of a story/fanfic called Eolnyss,which is also the name of the world in this story where the "World government" controls cities and bigger parts of Eolnyss. I will give you the first, second and the third chapter too see if you like it or not (please finnish all three of them).
    I want to be more original then many other fan fics that copies everything. Its quiet hard to knot copy anything from different mangas/stories/mythology but I have tried my best. I can write english pretty good but since It is not my mothertounge I will make errors here and there. IMPORTANT: READ ALL THREE CHAPTERS BEFORE VOTING. Enjoy.

    Chapter 1: Intro

    The dark room was clouded with smoke as the 1st lieutenant entered the room. He walked slowly , trying to avoid the big clouds, towards the black desk where a man in black cape was sitting and enjoying his last cigar.

    ???: What do you want Xephurus?
    Xephurus: I'm sorry to disturb you lord Reigor, but I have found the perfect team for the mission, as you asked me to.
    Reigor: Oh really? Show me.
    Xephurus: Here are their files, the first one, Vincent, is an ex dragon knight wit...
    Reigor: A dragon knight here in the "World government army"? I thought they were all killed, protecting the dragons in "the great dragon war" 85 years ago?
    Xephurus: Not all of them , some fled and spread around the world. But just very few ,it is estimated to be less then 20 of them left.
    Raigor: Oh, so he is quite unqiue then. But why is he in the very same army that killed mostly of his comrades 85 years ago.
    Xephurus: That, I dont know. Anyway, he has not failed a single mission yet. Our second man, or should I say woman, for the team is Holly, unlike the other two soldiers, she is a general.
    Raigor: A general? She doesn't look like she is older then 20!
    Xephurus: She is 21, she got trained from a very early age from her father who I think you know is. Captain Salvador, the legendandary swordsman, who got killed in a fight 2 years ago against the leader of the Rebel force.
    Raigor: ...yes. So that is his daughter.
    Xephurus: Yes. Now to the third one. I don't know if I made the right choice here but there is something about this kid, let me read his file: Damien Nezil , half deamon, found as a abbandoned baby outside a fosterhome 19 years ago. Joined the army recently after searching for for his ancestors, the deamon tribe,for 4 years but without results. Completed and returned alone from 2 out of 2 A-rank exploring missions.
    Raigor: Returned alone?
    Xephurus: Yes, his comrades died on the 30-man missions we knew was sucides missions in order to explore and give us information about dangerous areas of the Eolnyss world map. He has both times returned alone with information.
    Raigor: Hmm I wonder what his skills are, considering he is a human with deamon blood running through his veins. Good Work Xephurus, you are dissmissed.

    Xephurus saluted him and then left the room.

    Raigor spun his chair 180 degrees and gazed down on the city.
    Raigor: I wonder if 2 soldiers and a general will be able to complete the mission assigned for them...
     
  2. sebastian "forsen" fors

    sebastian "forsen" fors Member

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    Chapter 3: The battles

    Damien , Holly and Vincent landed infront of the Rebels. They watched the two really big men carefully. One of them had what seemed to be a giant hammer and the other one some strange looking gloves.


    Man #1: Hehe it seems as we have some followers , brother gill.
    Gill: yeah followers, brother Bill.
    Bill: They are soldiers for the government, problary here to recover the crystal.
    Holly: thats right, hand it over.
    Bill: Why should I hand over a item which brings death.
    Holly: Stop your nonsense. And give it to us.
    Bill: haha , you pawns understand so little of reallity.
    Holly: As you wish Rebel scum, we shall the the crystal with force. Prepare yourself * she said and withdrew her swords*

    The two brothers started laughing.

    Gill: It's funny you mention that since we are the ones being prepared for the longest. *he clapped his hands togheter *Explosion arts: Release* *
    Damien: shit a trap *both he and vinced jumped to the side*

    Holly was not fast enough and had just barely began to jump before the explosive sent her far away, landing hard on the ground.

    Damien: HOLLY! shiiit! Holly are you okay?

    Holly did not reply.
    Vincent examined her.

    Vincent: She is alive, but uncounsious.
    Damien turned against them.

    Damien: You bastards, you will die!

    Gill: Oh I only got one of them.
    Bill: well no worries, now its one for each of us.
    Gill: I want the bad tempered guy.
    Bill: fine then I will take the funny looking guy with the big lance.

    ***Damien vs Gill***

    Damien ran towards one of the brother sending a punch towards him.
    It was evaded by Gill and countered with a punch of his own towards Damiens chest.
    A explosion was created and Damien flew backwards

    Gill: hehe, you see my gloves are just not good looking, they also make a minor explosion when they come in contact with anything.

    Damien stood up, coughing up some blood and then smiled.

    Damien: I see, I'll just have to fight fire with fire then * *Deamon arts: Flaming Fist* and both Damiens hands ignited*
    Gill: ooh I never seen that one before.
    Damien: And you problary are not going to again. * Damien rushed towards Gill again and this time landed a strong punch on his cheek making him fly backwards and onto the ground*
    Damien: How do you like that, huh!

    Gill: hhehehehe... * *Explosive arts: release* *
    Damien looked down on his leg, where a small bomb had been atached, started beeping.
    Damien: Shit, when did h.... *the bomb exploded*

    Gill: haha, while I was flying backwards from your punch I threw a self ataching bomb on you , to small to be noticed while concentrating on a fight.
    Damien had a deep wound now on his leg, pouring out louds of blood. He grouned.
    Damien: Shit...I was to careless. * he ignited his right hand again *
    Gill: what is he doing`?

    Damien took his burning first and pressed it hard against the wound. He groaned in pain. When he removed his hand the skin was burned togheter and the bleeding had stopped.

    Damien: Do you know what gives deamons streantgh *he asked without looking away from the burnmark on his leg*
    Gill: no..why would I?
    Damien: Pain * he said with a demonic voice and looked up*

    His eyes where red as blood.
    Gill stepped back.

    Gill: Wha... Whaatt are you?

    Damien stood up.
    And suddenly he disappeared and appeared next to Gill, whispering in his ear.

    Damien: Its over... * he ignited his left fist again and uppercut Gill in the stomach making him fly up in to the air*

    Damien jumped after, and landed hundreds of punches within seconds. Then apeared above him,
    *Demon arts: Dark.. matter..* ,
    a dark sphere was created between both of his hand. He raised both of his hand above his head and then launched the sphere towards the chest of Gill making him fly at an extreme speed into the ground creating a small crater under him. Damien landed next to him and seconds later the eyes turned back to normal and Damien fell backwards on the ground.


    ***MEANWHILE***

    Bill wildly swung his giant hammer against vincent leaving him no opportunity to counter atack.

    Bill: haha whats the matter. Afraid to atack? Well then I'll go * he raised his hammer high and then bashed it into the ground infront of Vincent, sending a big shockwave to him*

    Vincent flew to the side and landed on his back.

    Bill: mwahahaha, this is to easy *he charged toward Vincent with his hammer raised on his right shoulder*

    Vincent had just gotten up before he was hit in the side by the giant hammer. Vincent bounced on the ground.

    Bill: Im not done yet *and he charged again towards Vincent*

    Vincent got on his knees and jumped far up in the sky seconds before the hammer would hit him.

    Gill: what the?
    Vincent: * *Dragon arts: Dragon breath* , and vincent released a cloud of fire from his mouth.*

    The fire and heat wave pushed gill away on the ground landing on his back. Vincent came diving from the sky with his Lance pointing at Gill.

    Gill: Shit * he lifted up his hammer infront of him and parried the sharp edge of the lance*

    Vincent then landed on the hammer and jumped up again,
    *Dragon arts: Lance of thunder*
    , he raised his lance as electricity surrounded it and then threw it. The lance was surrounded by electricity in the form of a dragon. Gill lifted up hiss hammer in order to parry.

    Vincent: Its no use...

    The lance went straight thrue his hammer and pierced his chest. Vincent landed and removed the lance. He was at his limit. He looked for Damien, and he saw that he seemed to be okay but exhausted. Vincent thrust his spear into the ground and then sat down next to it.
     
  3. sebastian "forsen" fors

    sebastian "forsen" fors Member

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    You dumbass :yawn: What part of Naruto Fanworks do you not understand? Only Naruto fanfics are allowed here. And this isn't even a real fanfic either. Go take your shit to some crappy forum.

    Jolterino
     

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