Cobalt and Coral

[Faliara]

"Why do you keep looking at me?"

It was recess. The other students were playing hopscotch, or by the slide, or eating lunch.

Cobalt sat on the swing, staring blankly. He didn't really have any friends, just a few acquaintances he can get along with, so he sat by himself. It was just another bland, normal day where he minded his own business and did nothing but stare blankly and watch everyone else.

Except a short, pink-haired figure stood in front of him.

"Huh?"
"I said, why do you keep looking at me?"

Everyone knew Coral. She didn't play hopscotch, or talk about girly things like Barbie or Tina Sometimes, and is freaky strong. A rather buff, tall man had leered over her, and she had grabbed his wrist and broke it in a second.

Needless to say, everyone kind of avoided her.

"I look at everyone," answered Cobalt, suppressing the sudden urge to run for the hills and never look back. "Nothing personal."

"Huh." If Cobalt were to guess, she was furrowing her eyebrows. He wouldn't know, a good deal of her face are hidden by her bangs. "What do you think of me when you do?"

"What?"
"When you look at me, what do you think?"

"Huh." Well, that was a simple question. "I think you're weird."

Coral looked slightly thrown off by that answer. Cobalt started feeling nervous, but didn't show it.

"What?"
"I said, I think you're weird."

Coral stood there for a second, taking that answer in.

Fear started to settle in his stomach. Was she going to break his wrist? Karate-chop him? Drag him to the nearest volcano, feed him to it and cook marshmallows over his burning corpse?

Suddenly, a smile started to spread on her face.

"... Uh..."

This was starting to creep him out.

"Didn't take you for the blunt type."

Well.

"I know that I'm not that notable and all... But I've never really seen the point in hiding what I think of others," he answered honestly, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Really?"
"Yeah."

Coral grinned.

"You know what, Cobalt, I think I like you," she said, sitting on the swing next to him. "I'm sure we'll get along."

It's a little something I started up. Didn't seem to fit in Random Art Dump, plus it's kind of a story thing. But it's really just about two friends, and random moments in their life. I had drawn with a five-colour palette in a style I haven't really tried before, then I decided to do it again, then I decided to draw random interaction between the two that I had drawn. It's kinda fun to draw like this.

Chapter 2's still in the works. I've got a quote from it up for it, but for now it's just that and artwork for 'Mom'.

While that's being finished up, you can look at these for a glimpse of the dynamics of Cobalt and Coral:

http://faliara.deviantart.com/art/No-471962008
http://faliara.deviantart.com/art/A-Few-Broken-Bones-472031030

Is the style alright? I'm not really the best at humour, and I'm sure these dynamics are overused, but I'll try.

 

[Faliara]

"I'm home."
"Welcome home, Cobalt!"

I looked towards the kitchen to see Mom washing dishes.

"You want me to help with that?" I offered. She shook her head.

"Not necessary, but thank you," she said, smiling brightly. "I made cookies."

"Great!" I replied, grinning as I went over to the counter where a bowl of cookies sat.

We stayed like that for a few moments, me munching on a cookie while Mom washed dishes.

Mom is a really accepting person. She wasn't angry when I came home one day covered in filth and mud, she smiled when Dad revealed to her that he's bisexual and has a crush on his best friend, and when a robber broke into our house, she brought him into the dining room and spoke to him by herself. I don't know what happened, but when they left the room the robber was crying over her shoulder and left the house an honest man.

I'm serious. I still talk to him every day.

Hey, Uncle Bert's an awesome baker. Don't judge me.

"Did anything interesting happen today?" she asked, putting a plate on the rack.

"Eh, nothing much." Except for Coral Cleventine confronting me by the swings, but she didn't need to know that.

"Oh, really?" she hummed, checking a cup for leftover stains. "I don't think so..."

"How are you so sure?"
"Mother's intuition."

"Mom, that's what you always say," I groaned, exasperated.

"Well, you're not getting any other answer to that," she grinned. "So, what happened?"

I hummed for a bit, chewing my cookie. "Coral Cleventine confronted me by the swings."

"Hmmm?" she looked at me, interested. "Why'd she do that?"

Mom knows about Coral Cleventine. I told her about the incident involving her, the tall, buff man and the broken wrist the day it happened.

"Eh," I shrugged. "Just wanted to ask something."

"If you say so..." she trailed off, smiling. "So, you're friends with her now?"

I spit my cookie.

"What?"

"So, that's a no?" she pouted. "And I was so sure..."

"Well, I wouldn't say 'friends'," I stated, furrowing my eyebrows. Oh man, where does Mom get these assumptions? "Just... Acquaintances, or something? I dunno, we just started talking today."

Mom smiled. Oh. It was a freakishly knowing smile, as though she knows exactly what this will lead to. And when she smiles like that, whatever it is she thinks will happen, it always happens.

"Whatever you say..." she trailed off.

And I swear, she smirked.

These pics never show up properly on the iPad. .-. I'll make sure the damn covers actually show up properly when I get home.

 

[Timdood3]

and when a robber broke into our house, she brought him into the dining room and spoke to him by herself. I don't know what happened, but when they left the room the robber was crying over her shoulder and left the house an honest man.

I'm serious. I still talk to him every day.

Hey, Uncle Bert's an awesome baker. Don't judge me.

This.
I like this.

Also the overall style reminds me of a journal....I like it.

 

[Fiestaguy]

Fali perfectly depicted the story of my life. It's nice, really. I'll be keeping an eye out for this cx

 

[Faliara]

As you can see, the pictures are perfectly clear now.

This isn't a chapter, it's like 'No' and 'A Few Broken Bones?' in the part that it might end up in written form, but right now is like this;

Oh, dear. What's Coral planning?

 

[Faliara]

The knight pranced through the crowd, holding an air of dignity and pride as he was swallowed by the cheers and gratitude of all.

The boy looked up at the knight, awe evident in his eyes.

'I want to be like him someday,' the boy thought. 'To be-

"Cobalt!"
"WAH!"

I flipped, my book flying into the air as I fell backwards off the swing and hit the ground.

"Oww..."

"Sheesh, you were really into that book," stated Coral, picking it up.

"It was an interesting story," I grouched, pushing myself off the ground.

Since that day by the swings two weeks ago, we've been spending time with each other during recess. I learnt a bit more about her that I wouldn't have known before, such as how she's interested in arts and crafts and likes to make origami in her spare time. She learnt a bit more about me as well, like the fact that I'm actually pretty tech savvy and that I don't really focus on anything else when I start reading.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." She handed the book to me as I corrected my hat. "What's so interesting about books, anyway?"

Is she for real? Does she seriously not understand the wonderful world that is known as literature?

Before I could start explaining to her about exactly what she's missing out on, she kept going. "Anyway, recess is over. The bell rung. Hurry up!"

And then she grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me all the way to class.

Her grip hurts.

Exactly why do we spend time with each other now?

~C&C~

"Okay, so how exactly are you and Coral on speaking terms again?"

I sighed.

"Kyle, I already told you, she asked me a question, I answered it, and apparently she liked the answer enough that we speak to each other during recess," I answered, exasperated.

"Not enough. Dude, what did she ask?" Kyle was looking at me with that insistent pleading need-to-know gaze he's been using on me for the past two weeks.

When we started talking on the swings, it was kind of inevitable that people would notice. I mean, it was Coral, the girl who gets along with no one and has no qualms about giving you a black eye if you piss her off. The fact that she's actually talking with someone on civil terms is surprising enough, the fact that she's talking with the guy who people usually don't even notice is something else entirely.

Most of them are too scared of Coral to ask about it to either of us, though, especially since she punched someone in the gut when he asked during recess.

Most of them.

As you can see, Kyle is one of the exceptions.

Kyle Plight is someone I talk to at times... The amount of those 'times' being a lot more then I care to admit. He's blonde, his hair cut straight just above his neck sans a cowlick which stubbornly stuck upwards and defied gravity. His skin was lightly tanned, likely from playing football. He doesn't really understand the point in going to school. Most of the time, he's playing with his friends, but he tails me every chance he gets.

Pretty much, he's the closest thing I have to a friend.

Not that I'm telling him that.

"You'd never believe me," I stated, flicking him on the forehead.

"Ow..." He rubbed the spot, pouting at me. "Oh, come on, man, just tell me!"

"Nope," I closed my eyes, crossed my legs, laid back on my chair and smiled.

"Aww, man!"

~C&C~

"Cobalt!"

I stopped walking, surprised.

That was Coral.

"Coral?" I furrowed my eyebrows and turned around, confused. We only talk during recess. "What is it?"

"Look at this," she said, showing me something.

... I'm starting to think that she might be a little off her rocker.

"A coin?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yep!" she smiled. "I found it under my table."

"... Okay, what about it?" I was thoroughly confused at this point. Why would she want to talk to me about some coin?

"Look."

I took a closer look at it. It was larger than a normal coin. I noticed that while one side was a head like normal, the other... Was an actual tail.

"... Er..."

"You notice how the other side is a tail instead of a picture, right?" I nod. "Which means..."

She threw it into the air, and then caught it as it fell.

Coral opened her hand for me to see.

"Huh. Heads." Her smile widened.

"Which means... You're coming with me!"

... Wait, what.

She grabbed the back of my collar and started dragging me off to who-knows-where. "Let's go!"

What. What. What is this I don't even.
As I look back at the school and its bewildered students, I groaned.

'Exactly what is happening to my life?'

Took a little longer than usual, but I got it done :) As you can see, there were line breaks.

Today, we introduce Kyle, whose photo I will post up later on. Please, tell me what you think, what I could've improved on, and what you think I should edit!​

 

[Timdood3]

Not exactly what I'm used to reading, and I usually write in third person, which makes it a bit difficult to judge. However, one thing is universal in writing: Sentence structure. Overall, I'm noticing a lot of short, choppy sentences. It doesn't exactly flow. See what I mean? These sentences, they don't really flow together well.

However, when you start to construct longer sentences with commas and the like, your sentences will have a lot better rhythm. I, for one, am a person who tends to use a lot of commas. Typically, choppy sentences are used during an intense scene to increase the reader's pace and give them an overall sense of "holy crap everything is going so fast this is awesome!" while longer, more connected sentences generally make the reader feel at ease.

I'm not certain how this translates, since I generally prefer to write in third person (and in past tense), but I'll give a few examples.

"Cobalt!"

I stopped walking, surprised.

That was Coral.

Becomes

"Cobalt!" A voice came from behind me and I stopped, surprised. Coral.

Notice how the original was made up of three lines, all consisting of only a few words, while the revised version feels less rushed.

She threw it into the air, and then caught it as it fell.

Coral opened her hand for me to see.

"Huh. Heads." Her smile widened.

Becomes

The threw the coin into the air, and caught it as it fell. She opened her hand to show me the result, "Huh, heads." Her smile widened further.

One last thing: Detail. I'll use the example above and further refine it.

The threw the coin into the air, and caught it as it fell. She opened her hand to show me the result, "Huh, heads." Her smile widened further.

Becomes

She flipped the coin into the air, snatching it as it fell. She extended her hand toward me and showed me the result, "Huh, heads." Her smile widened further. (Personally, I'd probably connect it more with the bit after that, but this is just an example so .-. )

Notice that not a whole lot is different except the verbs, which are more specific and depicts the actions in a bit more detail.

There's your English lesson for the day....And ew...I feel like an English teacher that just graded a paper....Harshly ;-;

 

[Faliara]

Not exactly what I'm used to reading, and I usually write in third person, which makes it a bit difficult to judge. However, one thing is universal in writing: Sentence structure. Overall, I'm noticing a lot of short, choppy sentences. It doesn't exactly flow. See what I mean? These sentences, they don't really flow together well.

However, when you start to construct longer sentences with commas and the like, your sentences will have a lot better rhythm. I, for one, am a person who tends to use a lot of commas. Typically, choppy sentences are used during an intense scene to increase the reader's pace and give them an overall sense of "holy crap everything is going so fast this is awesome!" while longer, more connected sentences generally make the reader feel at ease.

I'm not certain how this translates, since I generally prefer to write in third person (and in past tense), but I'll give a few examples.

Becomes

Notice how the original was made up of three lines, all consisting of only a few words, while the revised version feels less rushed.

Becomes

One last thing: Detail. I'll use the example above and further refine it.

Becomes

Notice that not a whole lot is different except the verbs, which are more specific and depicts the actions in a bit more detail.

There's your English lesson for the day....And ew...I feel like an English teacher that just graded a paper....Harshly ;-;

Thanks :) I'll keep that in mind the next time I write something. Or, at least I'll try to. Maybe get someone to proofread everything so I don't forget?

 

[Faliara]

I don't really have much ideas on how to write 'To The Arcade' ^_^' For now, I'll just put this up;

http://faliara.deviantart.com/art/Cobalt-and-Coral-Comic-Form-Chapter-One-Page-One-477266354