Caffeina Writes


Intoxicated Feline
Dec 24, 2012
Reaction score
So hi I finally have a thing that is suitable(read: finished) to post

Homestuck spoilers await.
In the end, you nearly panic.
A shooting pain runs through your knee, your blue blood trickles down your leg, the ground almost shakes as the Highblood lands feet-first.
He carries a bow, one of yours, it looks like.
You start to sweat, made nervous as he approaches.
The bow creaks in his hands, a manic grin plastered across his face beneath smeared white makeup.
The thin wood, though it's so much more fragile in your own STRONG grip, snaps.
honk. HONK. honk. HONK. honk. HONK. honk. HONK. honk. HONK. honk. HONK. honk. HONK. honk. HONK. honk. HONK. honk. HONK. honk. HONK. honk. HONK.
The bowstring, seeming unnaturally long, presses against the back of your neck, tangling in your hair. The Highblood wraps it around your neck, pulling it tight and cutting off your breath as his eyes go red and his expression shifts to one of rage.
Everything seems frozen in time but for the two of you, him pulling the bowstring tighter, tighter, you barely, pathetically, protesting.
Your head tips back-
your vision is blurring-
going black-
you think of your moirail-
she can't see you sad once again-
you see her now, a blur of color between black spots and vent-cover slats-
you smile.
Everything is okay, because the last thing you see is her.
A blur of pale orange and gray and olive green.
And everything is okay.
Smiling just for her, you tip onto your back, leg twisted unnaturally beneath you, though you don't feel it.
Your ragged, forced breathing comes to a stop as your bloodpusher, still warm from the sight of her, begins to slow.
You scream.
Anguished and frozen in horror, you can only stare.

Her name falls from your mouth; tears fall from your eyes.
She's gone for good this time.
Even a rainbow drinker can't return from a death so completely thorough.
You rub the tears away and grit your teeth.
is the only thing on your mind.
You draw your needles, plotting a course for her-
the evil witch that had killed your lover moments before-
and leap.
Being God Tier makes you so much more powerful, and you know that it's only reason you even make it close.
But there's the contradiction-
you aren't close.
She hurls her trident but you don't stop.
You don't stop because Kanaya isn't coming back and even if you die she'll be there-
It hits you.
Stabs through the center of the sun sigil splashed across your gold-clad chest.
you expected it
but it didn't really register
that it might actually hit.
She calls it back to her hand but you're sent tumbling backwards
until strong slender arms wrap around your waist and you simply become nothing.
Barely conscious, you're carried through a glitching sky. You "see" that the person holding you is a near-exact clone of your mother.
You don't try to think about it;
it's not even close to being the strangest thing that's happened since you began this twisted game.
She lands on the ground somewhere and lays you down. You feel the blood spilling down the front of your shirt; you can't bring yourself to care.
John's voice; he isn't talking to you.
"What happened to Rose?"
She doesn't answer him.
You're not sure if she's addressing you.
"Mom! Please, wake up..."
"It's me, your, um... Daughter, kinda."
"Please don't die."
The pause as she falters is almost palpable.
Slowly, you open your eyes.
"W...What... Happened to me?"
You can speak audibly and coherently; maybe you'll make it after all.
"The witch got you with her fork, but you're gonna be ok."
She slurs her words, informal but not unkind.
"Oh. That's nice."
You say flatly, coughing weakly. You're not quite sure how to feel about the current situation, though you get the feeling that it won't matter for long.
"Maybe you, uh... Shouldn't try to talk now."
You disregard her words. "You saved me, didn't you?"
She doesn't reply.
"Thanks. But," It pains you to continue, but you do anyway. "She's gone, isn't she. For good, I mean."
She makes a noise of confusion, much like a verbal question mark.
"I saw her die. And. It's a shame how..." Your voice is weakening, another cough rattling your frame. "A shame that I never even... Got to tell her..."
You aren't entirely sure who you're talking about anymore, your mother or Kanaya.
"I loved her."
You say it bluntly, though it pains you to know it.
She's clueless. But you're sure now, at least of who you were talking about.
"Kanaya. But..." You hesitate for the barest moment, tasting blood in your mouth, and you know that you aren't 'gonna be ok.'
"You too, mom."
Your eyes flutter shut, pale lilac irises obscured once more.
"You too."
You barely last to hear a clock chime, mournful whispers of "Heroic" wreathing around you.
Roxy- your mother- lets out a sob amidst the golden glow confirming your death.
But you don't hear her.
You won't hear anything else for a long while.
In the end, you refuse to hesitate.
You overtake Kanaya, quickly passing her in your frenzy, your vision tunneling around the two trolls ahead.
You don't really mean to yell, but your head is clouded with emotion-
panic and anger and fear-
as you barrel towards them.
Terezi doesn't stand a chance while Gamzee's trapped in a cold-blooded rage, and you still care enough for her to help- even if you didn't make it as her matesprit.
Knowing how dangerous your ex-moirail is
Knowing that it's likely futile
You grip the single sickle in your hand tighter and make the leap.
But you realize in an instant that you've screwed up.
He shoves her away, snatching up half her cane-sword;
Eyes wide, wild, glowing redder than the lava below, he roughly grabs you by the shoulder as you hit the ground.
Half-frozen with shock at your own idiocy, almost ready to start screaming at your past self, everything just
as you realize that this is the end.
Your eyes widen--you don't have time to react before the sword plunges into your chest onetwothree four times.
A strangled noise escapes you as you panic at the thought that they know your blood color, but then it hits you-
it doesn't even matter anymore.
Your mind blanks as he flings you over the edge of the cliff and you hear your sickle hiss and dissolve in lava.
You feel the heat on your back and snap out of your daze, starting to shriek:
"No, FUCK! This CAN NOT be how--!"
Words morph into a terrible scream as the lava envelopes you in a moment of white-hot agony.
And then, there's simply nothing.
You barely hear Terezi scream.
You were the first to fall in this merciless slaughter
and that was a blessing.

did I mention it was sadstuck?
Last edited:


Intoxicated Feline
Dec 24, 2012
Reaction score
There's actually a term for the type of poetry you've written! An ekphrastic poem takes a piece (usually art, but any type of creative work counts) and tries to describe or interpret it. For your poem, you're interpreting Homestuck. William Carlos Williams' Landscape with the Fall of Icarus is one of the better examples of an ekphrastic poem.

Your use of bolded text in the poem is interesting, and it puts more emphasis on those parts. Repetition is useful in poetry for anchoring the poem to a concept or idea! (Or in your case, a rhythm.) However, too much repetition can weigh a poem down, and you may want to consider trimming down the use of the word "honk" in the piece. It's also interesting how you've spaced the poem, some lines are only a single word, while others are several sentences long. Breaking a line is important, it makes the reader take a brief mental pause. That's why your last 4 lines have more attention drawn to them. However, if lines aren't broken enough, it can read like a run-on sentence.

Your use of imagery is strong in this piece. I especially like the line "A blur of pale orange and gray and olive green." I would suggest minor edits to some of the phrasing to get rid of unnecessary words. Like for that last line, it may be a good idea to remove the words 'and' and put in commas: "A blur of pale orange, gray, olive green." That way, you still get those mental pauses, but it doesn't use unnecessary words. I like your use of alliteration as well, "blue blood, pathetically protesting". Alliteration's a really useful tool in poetry, and it can help make a poem sound more fluid (She sells seashells down by the seas shore) or more grating (Clean clams crammed in clean cans) depending on how it's used.

But I did enjoy reading the poem; I have to admit, I never thought I'd see an ekphrastic poem about Homestuck!

EDIT: Also, have you titled this piece? If not, you should consider adding one!
I don't even know how to start to reply X'D I'll make sure to take the tips into consideration :3
Though this
However, too much repetition can weigh a poem down, and you may want to consider trimming down the use of the word "honk" in the piece.
Is a little hard to avoid, considering the section I was basing it off has "honk" consistently in each panel- even making up the entire background in one.
but just thank youuu >u<
  • Like
Reactions: Undefined User 7


Intoxicated Feline
Dec 24, 2012
Reaction score
My hand slipped
This took a while and the thread died sorry

Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave?
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall?
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow

Heart fluttering, hands shaking, she forces her gaze from the floor. Unsure, unsteady azure meets serene, accepting silver.
"This isn't... We're not..."
Words die on her tongue as the other girl looks down, her lip between her teeth and her hands behind her back in a display of resigned dismay.
"I don't know."
She's certain of what she feels, but how...? For so much of her life she's been taught that this is forbidden. Why does she still feel this way? It's the last thing she should want, and yet, it's what she longs for the most.
Lost in thought, she stares at the other, studying her from her feet to the top of her head. She's smaller than she is, more delicate; there's something about her that invites the eye. Maybe it's her enchanting silvery eyes; maybe her long wavy hair; maybe her warm soft smile or the soft gray wings that curve gracefully from her back. So many things to protect.
And then, she realizes.
This is what she wants.
Not an arranged marriage to a rich old noble, not a loveless marriage to a handsome, successful young man. No, none of what she's been told is in store for her.
She just wants... her.

One step closer

I have died every day waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

She takes a step forward, enclosing her in an embrace.
"I...I love you." She whispers, feeling arms wrap around her in return. "I'm sure of it now."
"You too," she responds, flashing the same smile she loves so much. "I love you too."
They stand there in silence for several beautifully long minutes before she speaks again. "Dance with me?"
"Of course."
And they sway around the room until late at night, her lover's soft sweet voice twining around them.

Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away what's standing in front of me
Every breath, every hour has come to this

Time seems to slow as they face each other, each desperate in their own way.
"Stay here, please," she begs, tears in her silvery eyes. "I don't want to see you hurt, I don't want to see you end up like..."
'Like him, corrupted and emotionally decimated until he died...'
"I don't want to hear it," she turns away, unable to look at her. She's beautiful, way out of her league, no matter the fact that she herself is a Guardian. "I'm strong, I can take much more than you can, you know why...I don't want you to be out there where I can't protect you. Just please, stay here!"
She looks away, resigned. "...all right. I'll stay."
But a moment later she looks back, smiling wearily. "Look at me."
Meeting her eyes as she pulls her into an embrace, she gently rubs her back between her wings. "Promise me you'll come back safe?"
"I-I promise." She leans up and kisses her cheek. "I love you."
Her lover closes her eyes, holding her close once more. "I love you too."
This is the moment that could make or break the war.
And she knows that she won't ruin it for her.

One step closer

I have died every day waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

She stumbles as she walks. The pain in her bound wings is almost too much to bear, though she knows that if she were to remove the bandages, it would be so much worse.
Her guard had been down for just a moment, but that moment was almost a fatal mistake.
'I just want to see her.'
She doesn't know if her love had stayed put or gone to a safer place. She's just trying to find her way back at this point.
She stops short.
She turns, and there she is.
All thoughts of pain leave her mind and she just runs.
Throwing her arms around her, she buries her face in her shoulder and breathes in the scent of seawater. "I'm sorry..." She chokes out amidst a flood of tears, "I almost broke it, I-I almost broke my promise."
"It's okay, it's okay." She soothes, fingers running through her hair to avoid touching her back. "All that matters is you're here with me and you're safe."
"Let's go. Please, let's just go home."
"Of course." She murmurs, sweeping her into her arms. "Let's go."
And as they walk away, leaving the pain behind, the rocking of her even gait lulls her to sleep.

One step closer

One step closer

I have died every day waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

Both dressed in white, bell-like skirts sweeping the floor, they dance in graceful circles around an empty room.
"Would you still be here... If this were real?"
Marisa sounds hesitant, almost nervous.
"Of course... But it can't be, can it?"
Alouette smiles halfheartedly. "They... Your father wants you to marry someone with noble heritage. I don't exactly have that."
They stop where they're standing, and Marisa looks her in the eyes. "You're a Guardian, aren't you?"
Slowly, Alouette nods. "Well, yes. I told you that."
"I'd say you're one of the most noble of all." Her eyes shine, full of love. "Will you..?"
"Will I?" Alouette nearly bursts into tears, throwing her arms around her. "Of course I will!"
Marisa laughs out loud, picking her up and spinning her around, and says breathlessly, "I love you!"
Alouette kisses her forehead, grinning ear-to-ear. "I love you too."


And then they fused and became Mariette. Steven Universe pls I swear I think it influenced this
This may or may not happen idk
Last edited: